Day in, day out. Same routine. Wake up, change diaper, get breakfast, turn on Dora, etc. No one prepares you for life like this. No one tells you no amount of attention you have ever given yourself will be near the amount your children need. Some days I sit and think, where is my mom telling me what to do, when to get up, what to eat, etc. I have to take a minute and realize, Julie, you are the mother now; YOU are in charge.
Since we have moved to Colorado, I have been searching and searching for a full time job. Not because I don't love spending time with daughter but sometimes, even at two, I think she thinks her mother is lame. I want to be there for all the firsts but I also want her to grow and learn with other children. I grew up in daycare and I don't have any hard feelings against my mother.
I know once I do get a job I'll be right back in a routine that seems so monotonous. It will be different though. I'll have that sense of accomplishment. My husband doesn't have to be the only bread winner. The job will not be my dream but it will help me get there. Some day I will have my own studio and be successful all on my own. For right now, I'll continue with photography on the side, picking up equipment whenever I can afford it. This is my life, this is my dream.
